Family Ties

Here are two poems that I wrote when I was 11 or 12 years old!

Featuring :

Merlin (Mummy) the disastrous cook (whose food I now devour having joined the breed of hungry hostelites!)

And dearest Daddy, what can I say.....nothing has changed!

THE GREAT DISASTER

It was so exciting, I must say
On that particularly fine Sunday
When the washing machine overflowed
And daddy said, 'Darn it! We're really blowed'

Brother and I, shreiked in delight
We had a pool, oh what a sight
And daddy said, "Do calm down dear,
When I take charge theres nothing to fear'

Mop in one hand, a bucket in the other
He tried to cheer up dear old mother
He swept, we leapt, the job went faster
When there occured the Great Disaster
Dad slipped and tried real hard to stop
But it was too late, he fell down PLOP!

Mum rushed over, "How are you dear?"
Dad mumbled, "I think I've busted my rear"
And everyone gathered and fussed around
The "poor little baby" still flat on the ground!

And now, though dad is well again
And sprightly as all other young men
Dad and machines must stay apart
They really aren't compatible at heart.

MERLIN THE DISASTROUS COOK

Merlin the disastrous cook,
Her food you'll surely dread,
A dose of some of her nasty chops
Could land you up in bed.
It's quite edible for a monster,
Not for humans, so beware,
You never know what could happen,
Probably termites growing out of your hair!
It smells of rats and engine oil
And a hundred other things as well,
And when they're all mixed together
You get a most ferocious smell.
I think she's gonna cook a lizard today
Or maybe even a HARE,
And I'm gonna stay right out of the way
So you folks have gotta BEWARE!